Kick 'Em in the Grill

Eye Spy

Gas Face Friday
The Eye Spy Edition

I hope this finds you well. I am still coming down from my vacation high from my trip to Alaska. Being on a cruise ship in what’s truly America’s final frontier was something I had been looking forward to since I was much younger. I would like to admit something to you that I have not shared with many. Until my trip there, I was a steadfast believer that we should “Drill Baby Drill” to get to that sweet Alaskan crude buried beneath the seas. Anything to break the grasp of foreign oil around our necks. After seeing that beautiful country and that wildlife—from Killer whales cresting the breaks, to humpbacks whales to bald eagles and elk and deer and even big fat squirrels—I have decided that even if there was a frog’s hair of a chance that there could be human era which could ruin the ecosystem, it is too great a risk. I should have remembered BP in the Gulf, but I needed to see it with my own eyes. My friends, it is amazing country and I strongly suggest visiting our 50th state on your bucket list.

When I got back, I did what most people who were away from civilization do: I tweeted. I asked people in 140 characters or less to catch me up on the weeks events, and that is when I heard. So the Gas Face Friday for this week has to go to:

The Gov’t, for reading all my emails.

Well maybe not all, but probably the dirty ones.

The danger of our lives living in the cloud is that we don’t really know who is out there. We read like everyone else about how safe our information is protected and then we find out that Uncle Sam has all of our passwords in his Rolodex. (Uncle Sam is old and still uses an antiquated Rolodex even in today’s computer age. I like the image.)

Is nothing sacred?!? Can’t I send my emails in peace? Not when there is imminent threat to our security. What is that threat? In my emails to my dad about how great Mia’s grades were, are there secret hidden messages to the mortal enemies of the state? (My daughter’s “A” in math stands for ANARCHY.)

And did you see the server they are building in Utah? 5 hexahertz or as I like to think of it, “triple infinity of memory for all the stuff the gov’t plans to save from our conversations” is worrysome. First off, how are we paying for this, and why is it necessary? Do they really need to save all the kitten videos on YouTube?

I don’t know guys, but this is one of these moments where I wish George Orwell was alive just so he could point into the camera and say “I TOLD YOU SO.” (If you don’t get the George Orwell joke please read 1984.)

Glad to be home even though I no longer look at my computer the same way.


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