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Gas Face Friday: Lazy Edition

This week has been a tough one, so I am giving the gas face to all those out there that make hasty decisions and then blame you for the plan not being executed. I have dealt with one client this week who would not listen to reason, decided he knew better than me, did what he wanted to do and when it failed blamed me. You lazy, lousy P.O.S. Next time just let me do what I was born to do—beside hold mics—and let me build your brand. If you try to besmirch my name, you feel the Karma of seven years of the worst luck of your life.

I am sure there are more deserving people in the world who should get it more, but just so we are clear, I needed to vent and get this off my chest.

I am going to leave it to you to decide who deserves the Gas Face for this Friday. Tweet it to me at @MCSerch, or post in the comments here. I will announce the winner based on your responses later on.

Carry on
Serch

Gas Face to the Boston Bombers?

As I sit to write this, I thought it was blatantly obvious who should get the gas face. The gutless brothers who bombed the Boston Marathon. The pain that this country has felt and the amount of information of those who were lost and injured makes us sad / angry / sorry and thankful that this was not worse. From all reports they seemed to be living the dream—Able to defect from a communist country to be students, even potentially the older brother, a Golden Gloves winner, boxing in the Olympics for the USA. There are no signs that these two were not enjoying the American dream. They had freedom to learn, to live, to grow, and even the freedom to build a bomb and kill innocent people and injure over 200. As I type this, they are still looking for the younger brother, Jaffar, who was last seen in his old hood. I heard his aunt and uncle speak today. They are a broken family, ashamed to be associated with them and the uncle calling them “losers.” You could hear the pain and confusion about the whole thing in their voices. Freedom can be a dangerous thing sometimes, but even with this incident I would prefer to live here than any other country in the world. I hope that no other police or civilians are injured moving forward.

But something else quietly crept under the wire that will also have lingering effects on this country. It is for those who allow political bullies to push back a basic and sensible notion of increasing safety. So even though my heart is with those in Beantown, and those who were so dispicable, I feel that the Gas Face this week also goes to….

The US Senate who did not pass the gun background check law.

Our country is basically owned by four large groups: Monsanto, Corn, Big Oil and the NRA. I recently found out that the highest paid lobbyists in the country are those who handle the NRA. This once very sensible organization that simply was created to protect the rights for Americans to “Bear Arms” are now a radical right wing machine hell-bent on looking past the obvious holes in the system so that they can kill animals with an assault rifle and while they’re at it, allow a person to carry a gun who could be a criminal without a simple and basic national background check. Also, it should be noted that in trying to pass this bill, those with sense in their heads even agreed to continue to allow persons to buy guns without even I.D. at gun shows?!?! Really, these gun shows are literally a way for criminals to cop guns for cash with nothing but a kind wink and a thank you from the arms dealer. They thought this for sure would get this bill passed into law but ’twas not strong enough for those who believe that protecting the innocent who won’t carry guns is not in the best interest of ‘Merica.

So while we search for one, we are left to search for thousands in the future who will kill with a gun bought in the good ol’ USA.

Please let you voice be heard.
Serch

Gas Face Friday, the Birthday Edition

The birthday edition? (I’ll explain later)

I reached out to many of you asked who deserved it for this week. Many of you still wanted North Korea to receive it but even if they did it would be kinda corny to give the same group the gas face two weeks in a row.

Then there were a few on twitter that said that Jay-Z and B going to Cuba deserved it. They gave good cause. I mean Cuba is still a communist state ran by a murderous dictator and their people are suffering. I am not sure why Jay went and why he would walk the streets like he was an ambassador of good will but he is Jay and I might need to do business with him so he gets a pass LOL. Plus his new single “Open Letter” is fire.

So, by public demand—and the power of course lies with the people—this weeks Gas Face Friday recipient is…

LL COOL J

That Brad Paisley duet record is the worst record I have ever heard in my life. So that we’re clear, I don’t excuse or forget Do Rags, Red Flags, or bad raps. Brad Paisley might have had some success with hip hop using Luda a few years back (a record written by my dude Colt Ford) but that does not mean that lightning would strike twice and not with an emcee that has not made a significant record in, what? Ten years?

Look, I am glad that LL loves hip hop. He could have easily called himself James Todd Smith at this point and Ladies would still Love Cool James. He kept it classic keeping the LL name. That means that we still claim him. You know that to be true. But keeping the name means you don’t need to keep rapping. In fact he should just never rap again and that’s ok. He gave us plenty of great years as an emcee. Now it is ok for you to let go bro. Just drop the mic, you shouldn’t be holdin’ it (thanks Rakim).

What’s your opinion? We’d like to know.

Serch

P.S. The reason it’s the Birthday edition is my first born turned 19 today. I am very thankful that my wife had the strength and energy to bring her into the world today. I love you, Hannah (inside family joke).

Gas Face given to…who cares?! 3rd Bass Plans Reunion Tour!

Hope you had a great week, my family and friends. Thanks to the many of you who have put up your suggestions for Gas Face candidates. Many of you wanted me to give the face to North Korea. The news of their alleged strikes into South Korea is certainly newsworthy, but let’s be honest: do you think that the Democratic powers in the world would not jump at the chance to protect South Korea as well as take down one of the last bastions of communism? I have heard that if North Korea would strike it would take the US about three days to nullify the strike and about three months to overthrow the government. Then all those converted communists would be turned into consumers and they would be buying things in bulk—as soon as they got jobs at McDonalds.

Then there’s the coach from Rutgers basketball team. I would prefer to not give him any more light than this: he abused his authority and is a poor excuse for a coach. I heard one of my boys say to me that we could not hear what he was saying to the players when he was throwing the balls at them, hitting them with the blocking cushion, but that does not matter. Frustration should not equal abuse.

Anyway these are all good choices but I want to go with…

Both

Here is the other news:

3rd Bass has reunited

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After 15 years Pete, Rich and I have decided to start doing some shows in preparation for next year’s 25th anniversary of The Cactus Album.

We got some shows lined up in Arizona, Los Angeles and Orlando, with other shows in the works.

Ok that’s it for now
Serch

The biggest boss, rapper Rick Ross gets the Gas Face

Gas Face Friday
(The Passover Good Friday Edition)

What up fam and friends

My weeks are filled with deal making and brand building so my posts have become few and far between. I recently became a Media Strategist for a media cluster in Florida, and for the first time I have become a corporate guy. I have never worked for a company before and I don’t count my year at Def Jam, ‘cuz that was more school than work. I am doing what I love. Companies big and small come to me and I help create the messages that define them. In marketing there is a saying: success in a message comes from how many times you say it and what you say. If the message is wrong, then it does not matter what you are selling, ‘cuz no one is buying. Which leads me to my Gas Face Victim for this week.

By popular demand:
The biggest boss, rapper Rick Ross gets the Gas Face.

Rick Ross (source: Facebook)

Rick Ross (source: Facebook)

Just so we are clear, if you are a rap fan, this is not the first time a rap lyric has come under fire for being disrespectful. Rappers like Eminem, the early Beastie Boys (not the enlightened ones), the Geto Boys, UGK, shoot damn near every southern rapper has said something that is disrespectful to women. So why is this one getting so much disgust? I think I have some ideas:

  1. The Messenger was Ricky Rozay.
    If this was another Em lyric I do not think anyone would bat an eye. We expect Slim Shady to say some shady things. Rick, for the most part, has been respectful in the eyes of hip hop as more of a big teddy bear who loves his money, women, cars and weed. He gets a pass for being a corrections officer, he gets a pass for being a drug dealer, but he stepped over the lyrical line when he wove his tale of Molly Follies and getting his jollies off the drugged and unwilling female victim. We want the Barry White of rap back and we want him in pocket saying that his women are looking fresh like a bag of money
  2. He is too close to the truth.
    If I told a rhyme tale about a far-fetched plot to rape and victimize someone in a song, you would be offended—and rightfully so—but you would not think of it as a potential future plan. That is what is so great about telling a story in rhyme form. The right beat, the right words, the right mood can turn you into something you’re not—if only for three minutes. This caper of dropping a Molly in a drink is something that woman have to be careful of in every club that they get dressed up for. Dudes are really scary (I am learning this more and more as a father of two daughters). If this was not going on before, now it is a relatively possible attempt. Watch your back ladies, or as my wife and I have told our girls since they were old enough to go out to a party, “never leave your drink unattended.”

The song in question:

Thanks for all the feedback people and to all my friends who are not MOT, have a wonderful Easter with your family.

Love is love
Serch

Gas Face Given to the eviction process at the University of Central Florida

Today for Gas Face Friday: The Gas Face goes to…
The eviction process at the University of Central Florida.

Let me ask you a question, people. What is wrong with this paragraph? It is from the Orlando Sentinel:

“James Oliver Seevakumaran, 30, was found in his dorm room in Tower 1, a seven-story structure near the UCF Arena. He died from a single shot to the head fired by one of his newly purchased guns, police said.” (full story)

James had devised an evil scheme to shoot, bomb and kill innocent students at UCF this week, and was foiled by his roommate, who—once he saw the arsenal that James had built—called the police. James, instead of hurting others, did the right thing and hurt himself, saving maybe hundreds. Still don’t know what’s wrong with the above paragraph? The student, James Oliver Seevakumaran, was living at the dorm and was 30 YEARS OLD!!!!

I understand that the real world, to a college student, is a scary place filled with horrors, such as jobs, paying bills, getting a real apartment and all the other horrific things that befall a college graduate, but this should not mean that a college should not put an age limit on who can live in a dorm. Especially when that student: A) has not taken a class in over a year; B) has not paid his dorm room fees in over 7 months. And when do RAs not check large bags that old ass students bring into the tower? This dude had built up an arsenal including rifles, bombs, rocket launchers, and several hand guns and magazines of bullets. Which brings me to my next point. How big was this dorm room that his roommate did not notice this dude creating an arsenal in their room?!?! My daughter, who goes to Univ. of Miami, cannot hide a peanut from her roommate their room is so small. In fact, they have to coordinate who gets out of bed first so they don’t bump into each other.

UCF, you need to get your game together. You are about to be the largest college in the US (55,000 and counting) so you need to make sure that your students that are not taking classes are keeping it moving. Since when is a school so big that it can let a guy slide rent free for seven months? And what’s worse, my son wants to go there and study film. I am not nervous, because I am sure that when it is time for him to go to school every college in the world will have air-tight new restrictions on dorm rooms.

I have not posted anything else in a minute, so for that I am sorry and I will try to be more active so if you have someone you want to give the Gas Face to, please be my guest.

Serch

Gas Face Given to MC Serch?!

Gas face this week is self deprecating.

It goes to me, for not going to SXSW—or at least sending my daughters and wife.

My whole camp is down there: Boldy James, Sneakas, CED, as well as my BMG partners, Zach Katz and Lydia. It would have been smart to have Serchlite represented by me, too, but I got lazy and decided not to go. My daughter, who works for me, should have been down there scouting acts, but she had this annoying thing called “school” that my wife says takes something called “priority”—whatever that means.

Anyway, I know it was great and I will have video of the performances to put up soon, but my laziness and my kids’ school is getting in the way of my publishing pursuits.

You know I’m kidding right?

What about you, who do you wanna give the Gas Face to?

Thank a Woman, or Get the Gas Face

Today’s Gas Face Victim: Every man who did not thank the ladies in his life on International Women’s Day.

Much can be said about the sometimes frivolous national days posted on the calendar—like national candy appreciation day—but some of them are far more serious to take for granted. Today, the ladies deserve their just due.

We held down women in this country longer than we held back slavery. Even male slaves did not want to see females as equals and we are just seven years away from the hundredth anniversary of a woman’s right to vote. Men have done their woman wrong for a long long time. Why not remember them and give them the focus on the still long hard fight for women’s equality in the world?

Bear this in mind: There are still tribes that give woman circumcisions so that they can’t enjoy sex—ever. Woman are being stoned in the world as we speak for wanting to share their views on politics and social action. Many of us are still deaf to these cries of equality.

If you have a penis, and did not take your hand off of it for a moment to thank a woman in your life, then gas face is definitely given to you. Women are able to endure more pain than you on a monthly basis, they have given birth to every living creature on the planet, and still have time to make us feel like we have things in control when they really run the world.

Thank a woman today, and get your ass off this list!

Feel good, ladies, today is all about you.

Love is love,
Serch

We Sell Records – Gilbert Gottfried

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Screen Shot 2013-03-07 at 10.39.17 PM

Jesse Jackson, Jr.

Did the week go by that fast?

There were mad good options this week, but the winner without a doubt is: Jesse Jackson, Jr.

You can read about it, hear about it, watch it on TV, so I don’t have to run through it, but I just want to say one thing: When you do the time, then do the crime. But throwing your wife under the bus to lessen your sentence? Dude, you should be prison penalized—if you know what I mean.

Thoughts people?