Kick 'Em in the Grill

Gas Face given to the LAPD? Maybe, but not quite…



As I vacation in beautiful Hilton Head, SC, I had my eye keenly focused on those willing to put their names out there in order to get the Gas Face this week. My friend, John Brown, wanted to nominate Republican Superstar and Florida Sex Symbol, Marco Rubio, for his disparaging statements about our President. Let’s just put this out there: Until further notice, lifetime Gas Face to the GOP until they give back the rights to women and gays.

Another Gas Face nominee was the LAPD. Again, when I read the Dorner letter and realized that those who have behaved in prejudiced behavior are rewarded prominent roles in the hierarchy of the PoPo in Lost Angels, I could see the wrong once again needing a defender of truth. If they were to spend that amount of effort on the war on crime and gang violence as they did in searching for one man, I might have a different opinion. But even 25 years later, NWA’s mantra still rings true.

I am not sure if many of you know this, but in 1989 the NYPD wrongly shot and killed a teenager in Brooklyn who was walking through his projects with his back to the policeman who called him to stop. They suspected him of robbing a corner store. He was blasting his Walkman and could not hear the cops telling him to stop or “they’d shoot.” The cops shot three times, all entering the young mans back, to his heart and chest. The Post reporter who covered the shooting was told by witnesses that when the young black male’s head hit the ground, his headphone popped off. They told the reporter that the song they could hear bleeding from the headphone as he laid there bleeding to death was “Gas Face.” A song the reporter explained to his readership was a song about “smiles.” I remember sitting in the Def Jam offices reading the piece and thinking how sad it was that the reporter really didn’t know what the song was truly about, and if he did, he would see the symbolism to the song in retrospect to the incident. More little white lies, I guess. Anyway my point being that since we have all been small, we have seen the terrible actions the boys in blue have done, and even though Dorner killed two innocent people, deep down many of us in Hip Hop were rooting for him to speak for those not able to speak for themselves, and to create justice where there has not been. I don’t care if the charred body they found in the lodge was him or not, there is a small part of me that wants him to have pulled a MacGyver and show up at Mark Fuhrman’s house and put three in his chest. Just saying…that scumbag does not deserve to be Commander of Legoland, let alone LAPD.

I thought that this week I would take a more somber approach to who gets the Gas Face. I have decided to take the suggestion of a dear friend and combine the Guest Gas Face of the week and mine.

This week’s Gas Face goes to….

CBS for running the credits over LL Cool J and Chuck D at the end of the Grammys

Like many of you, when I heard the flat promo of an LL performance, I winced. I see LL as an actor now. The way I see also Will Smith and Queen Latifah as actors. The Ladies Love Cool James on NCIS LA. He has one of the most successful shows on the tube, and for that, he represents Hip Hop culture to the fullest. I really am ok with the fact that he hosts the Grammys. It makes total sense. He is a huge recording artist selling thirty million records, and has American Music Awards and Grammys to his name. So when he kept promoting his performance, I winced. I watched, applauded, rooted for the winners, enjoyed the performances, and then I saw Hip Hop power. As The Dream went up with Frank Ocean and Jay Z to receive their Grammy, Jay allowed Frank and The Dream to have their moment in the sun. As Dream was finishing blabbering, the walk-off music began to rise, and then as they walked off, Jay made a last-minute decision to step to the mic. The music was about to crescendo, but as Jay was to utter his first syllable, the music dropped. Note how I did not say “fade.” NO, IT DROPPED. It was as if even they were afraid to diss Jay. I would like to see the note to the conductor which had specific instructions on how much time to allow speakers before playing the walk off music, unless it’s Jay Z. “Unless it’s Hov.” “Unless it is Hip Hop.” I was so moved by that simple gesture, that when LL promoted he was performing, I winced more. LL could not top that Hip Hop moment. No performance that night did, although J.T. and Jay-Z came close.

Just before what turned out to be the final commercial break of the evening, the announcer spoke of LL’s performance and I winced-until I heard the line up: LL, Chuck D, Tom Morello and DJ Z-Trip. I stopped wincing. I was open, wide open. In the memorable words of Reakwon on the Wu banger C.R.E.A.M., “the combination made my eyes bleed.” I was glued to the set. Then it started. The song was aiight. The track was decent, but seeing Chuck D on stage had me mesmorized. Then Z-Trip was killing “Rock The Bells” and Tom Morello was making his guitar into a turntable. The single LL was performing was called “whaddup”. It was a medium, at best, but his performance was captivating. As they approached the third, and final, verse, I was at the end of my seat waiting to see what was next, and I found out. Drowning out Chuck D’s powerful voice was the announcer telling me who the voting members of NARAS are. WHO CARES?!? LEGENDS ARE ON THE STAGE, DUDE. LET THEM PLAY. Honestly, when will we see that again? I know, I know: NEVER!!!!

Look, this might seem trivial with all going on around us, but I would not have the life I have if not for Hip Hop culture. And when Hip Hop is buried and not given its proper due, it is like the music playing over Jay Z’s comments. It is not going to happen, not on my watch.

CBS: Gas Face Given

What’s your opinion? We’d like to know.

Guest gas face goes to:
Robin Hickling
Definitely John Boehner for the visual personification of haterationalism shown on his face while the POTUS gave the State of the Union Address. Dude was crowned king of haters yesterday! lol


Gas Face Given to Christopher Dorner

This week’s gas face goes to…

The cop-killer cop in Los Angeles.

I am not one who hates the police, and I am not one who is blind to the wrong that police have caused our community, so this gas face comes with no blue bias. It’s one thing to want to kill somebody. Which of us didn’t want to kill somebody at one point or another? And whatever this cop’s problem is with other cops is again not worth taking a life over, but at least you are going after fire with fire….arms that is (get it?). You get the gas face for going after not only cops but their families who have enough to deal with just wondering if their parents in blue will make it against the criminals out there every day. Now they have to worry about one of their own—who knows every donut shop and parking lot that these boys in blue rest at—and they also have to worry about the police officer who is coming to the door. These poor police families literally have no one to trust when an officer comes to the door.

Gas face given

See you soon

Christopher Key; Co-Owner of SWATS and the maker of Deer Antler Growth Hormone

Christopher Key; Co-Owner of SWATS and the maker of Deer Antler Growth Hormone

So all this week was SUPER BOWL MADNESS in the press, on TV, on radio, on-line, in-line, off-line, and the talk was sometimes about how the Harbaugh brothers are the first brothers to face off in the Super Bowl as Head Coaches. I enjoyed watching the Harbaugh parents gleam about how proud they are of their boys and how they are going to do their best to enjoy the festivities. The surrounding story was not what crazy ass Randy Moss was doing, but all the hubbub was about whether or not Ray Lewis (Who some of my friends lovingly call “The Murderer”) took Deer Antler Growth Hormone that contains the banned substance IGF-1 (Insulin-Like Growth Hormone 1). Did he take it? Who else takes it? Why would you take it? How does it affect the healing of the body? All these questions and Ray Lewis flatly denies ever taking it.

Now, many of you might be wondering if Ray Lewis should even be allowed to play Sunday it what will be his last game as a pro football player. My whole thing this week was who told the press that he even took it? It was not a disgruntled teammate (Think Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Mark Maguire), it was not a deep probing investigation by the league….It was the guy who made the stuff, Christopher Key. He co-owns a company called SWATS that produces the spray (That’s right folks you spray antler hormone into your mouth but it ain’t no Chloroseptic) and he is BLABBING to anyone in earshot. He made the announcement himself that he sold the stuff to Ray Lewis. He was not under fire for being fined by the NFL, he was not hurting for business (Sales of Dear Antler Growth Hormone is around 650,000 a year), no he just wanted to be a tattle tail. LOOK AT ME WORLD….I MAKE ANTLER GROWTH HOMRONE AND I SELL IT TO ATHLETES….LOOK AT ME. Its bad enough that you even put it together that Dear Antler’s had Growth hormone that could be digested and help humans (Which by the way, has not been founded yet by the FDA. In fact the FDA has tested it and can’t prove that it has any positive effect on humans). But that was not enough for good ole Chris. No, he then had to Tattle Tale on the my beloved Alabama Crimson Tide saying that he gave 20 players the Dear spray a day before the game to “TRY”. This dude is worse that Hammer dancing with PSY. Does he need the publicity that much that he is willing to hurt not only Ray Lewis and his last game but Alabama players who worked their butts off all season to win their second consecutive title and taint that win? Man, this is the kind of dude that would help you push your car to the gas station only to tweet that you was broke down and without him you’d be nothing.

Christopher Key, you get the Gas Face this Friday. My hope is that your publicity leads to the FDA really testing your product, finding out it has no redeeming qualities and it ruins your business (Kind of harsh huh. Well he shouldn’t be a tattle tail and I would not care).

Shout to all the great options given to me by you guys this week. I will post them later after dinner with the family and some quality time at home.

What’s your opinion? We’d like to know.

My condolences go out to those who lost loved ones in Phoenix this week. I truly hope that are at peace and they felt no pain.

Media coverage on whether Beyoncé lip synced or not

It’s Gas Face Friday and The Gas Face goes to….

The Media coverage on whether Beyoncé lip synced or not

So many of you chimed in that just giving Bey the Gas Face would almost be, well, expected. I have read all the posts from all of you out there about the matter but the real Gas Face goes to the media for making this a story, or what they are calling a controversy. Are you kidding me?!? You know what a controversy is? It’s whether or not the NRA is buying the senate to block restrictions on stiffer gun laws or its these silly right wing conservatives who are taking away a woman’s right to choose. These are stories that need real estate in our papers and online. As of this afternoon, there were—and I am not kidding here—over 80,000,000 search results for Beyoncé lip syncing this week. The Washington Post went as deep as asking White House Press Secretary Jim Carney for his take on the matter. Don’t we have better things to ask Jim Carney? His look back at the Post reporter can be best described as a Gas Face given. They even dug up the female rapper Eve to chime in. Eve needs to worry about, oh I don’t know…her CAREER!!! Eve do you need press this bad that you would comment on a non issue?

Look, as a performer myself I have never had a reason to lip sync. If I was Bey, would I have sung my ass off? For sure. But I also know that I would also want a safety net. And she did sing OVER the backing track, so it’s not like she pulled a Milli Vanilli.

The press and its lack of focus on what is truly important to this country should be given the Gas Face this week.

If you beg to differ—or you got something to add—the instrumental is playing, so run your lyrics and let your voice be heard. Send me a tweet (@MCSerch), or comment below.

Oh Sh!t, another Gas Face victim

The inaugural Gas Face goes to: LIARS

The inaugural gas face for this Friday goes to: LIARS

Let me see, from Lance Armstrong to Montì Te’o, the Notre Dame Heisman Trophy runner up lying about a dying girlfriend that not only didn’t die but didn’t exist, to Lance Armstrong and his denial of steroid use (I will touch on this one in a bit) to the conservative right lying about President Obama and his exaggerated use of presidential privilege, we just can’t seem to get an honest story from anyone lately.

I feel bad for Montì Te’o. Even if he did not know he was being duped if you have never met someone in person and only had conversations on the phone how are they your girlfriend? That seems like what we around my way call a “PenPal”. I know that a pen pal receives letter but you hear me. She was at best a long distance friend at best. I am sure he was not missing any attention from them college Girls at ND.

Lance is an American tragedy. I want to point out one thing in Lance’s defense. He had cancer and their should have been some stipulation that for him to get back into riding shape he should have been entitled to some sort of ‘Roids for losing a ball. He stood for the epitome of living with out limits and for surviving on sheer guts and will. He built a billion dollar brand from this and an organization that has probably helped hundreds of thousands of cancer parients and it was all built on a lie. Man Gas face is definitely given Lance.

These scary right wing conservatives are liars and get an * for being dirty. The fact is that the President has used less Presidential privilege than any president in recent memory. The fact is that the elite who wanted to secede when he was re-elected just don’t know what to do with themselves. This was just too much change and the power base is shook to the foundation so they must lie to try and persuade public opinion. I am telling you now that our grandchildren are going to hear about how poorly we treated this president in social studies like we studied crooked ass Nixon. We might not have to wait that long.

People and this includes me, stop being afraid of the truth. Fess up before you mess up. I can tell you first hand that lying has eaten away at the most important relationships in my life and I will never fully gain trust back from many people I have lied to.

So the Inaugural Gas Face for Friday January 18th goes to: Lying

The song is now on instrumental, let your lyrics flow

Love is love